Story Brief

Ringo Chiu/Shutterstock Gather close, curious passersby, and gaze upon my wrist orb! Behold the notifications it annoys me with, the nearly incessant reminders and DoorDash delivery updates. Gasp as I use it to ask Google things I should already know, like whether it's possible the milk I left on the counter last night is still good. Do not accuse me of witchcraft when you see me take a phone call with it, in public, while using both hands to eat my lunch.

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